You are to speak of humility. A true unity beyond all duality. Help others to transform years of thought forms ingrained in self-centeredness (doubt and fear). A sort of liberation in the way of the soul. A cleansing. A purification process. Opening to explore the grace and glory of the interconnectedness of all.
How much are you willing to suffer because you decide not to believe in your reality?
Equilibrium can not be mastered if your beliefs run counter to your reality.
In reality, you are a beautiful, divine, phenomenal person.
In your belief about yourself, you may be anything but these.
And this discord between who your really are and who you believe yourself to be will set a life pattern of teeter-tottering.
Because you do not believe yourself to be worthy, you will act as someone who must work to earn worth.
Because you do not believe yourself to be loving, you will act as someone who must earn love.
Because you do not believe yourself to be a “good” person, you will act as someone who must prove his or her “good-ness”.
You will begin on one end of the teeter-totter, butt planted firmly on the ground because…
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When I feel inclined to sit with God and reflect on the manipulation of the Ego I am reminded of a line from the movie “The Usual Suspects”. “The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist”.
I feel as though this is the Ego’s greatest feat … convincing us it doesn’t exist.
The Ego’s brilliance is only trumped by the love and light of God. I say this because God is the only thing that has supplied me with enough love, courage, and grace to fearlessly face the hideousness of the Ego.
Years ago, I believed the ego was a pesky nuisance. Something to keep an eye on. No biggie!
The belief of the Ego resembling a cranky toddler has been smashed. The Ego is a monster. It is convincing, subtle, and highly skilled in the art of separation. It is forever supporting the illusion of lack and complacency.
The Ego’s grip has captured the hearts and minds of beautiful beings all over the world.
It has displayed reality as want, lack, competition, struggle, pain, class, separation, education, credentials, doubt, judgement, money, fear, and greed. It has convinced us that life is hard and is something to be endured.
It has sucked the innocence, carelessness, and spontaneity of the little child spirit right out of us and told us this is what it means to “grow up”.
It has ever so gently created a “business world” filled with compromise, justification, rigidity, scarcity, and corruption. It implemented the phrase “let’s talk business”, as if all we were doing up until that moment was frivolous nonsense.
It has convinced us we deserve the approval and admiration of all we come in contact with.
It has convinced us that truly listening and supporting another equals a state of submission. It has brought us to devalue truly connecting and understanding the heart of another. It abrasively captures the spotlight by interjecting its advice and opinion with each breath.
The Ego lectures on conformity in a masterful way. It has constructed the elusive dream of being an innovator without wandering to far from the mainstream. It tells us we must appeal to all in order to succeed, rendering our dreams and ambitions as silly and far fetched.
This is by no means a comprehensive picture of the Ego. Just a few things to ponder.
The Ego will tell you this is all very real. It will tell you this is the way it is. It will tell you this is part of “growing up”.
It will tell you that even if you believe differently … conform and STAY SILENT … you can not possibly make a difference.
Once upon a time, a long long time ago, the world said we can’t … and we listened. Of course we did! Why would we not? What else was there to
do? We all long for the most basic of human needs. We will believe and do anything in order to find even a small hint of acceptance, love, and understanding.
We were raised to believe the biggest lie the world ever told. Money, prestige, handbags, intellect, cars, societal ranking, physical appearance, pills, and our dismal attempt at an intellectual understanding of safety and security would surely meet our basic needs. Someday these “things”, these beliefs, would fill the emptiness of our hearts. So, we wander through life awaiting the day that one of these fruitless attempts will magically produce the missing piece of the puzzle. The unfortunate result of this well intention-ed wandering is an unexplained emptiness.
My personal confusion was complete the day I realized that my happiness checklist had come true! For the life of me I could not understand why my heart was still in a million pieces. Why the emptiness? I had met all of societies requirements!
Logic had told me, the world’s logic, I must be deficient. I chalked the emptiness up to that. Eureka! I must be missing a few bolts:) A couple trips to the doctor, a tiny tangle with insanity, desperation, and a rather jolting shift to hopelessness completed the madness. Reason was not working. I tried SO hard to be happy, fulfilled, and full of appreciation for life. The reality was the harder logic tried the further I fell.
It is funny what happens when we enter “the dark night of the soul”. It just is. Somewhere in the mass stripping of all logic emerges something indestructible, our SPIRIT. Passion, purpose, and love follow soon after this awakening. There also seems to be a deeper meaning to a life that previously had none. For a brief, ever so brief, moment we feel whole and complete. Then it comes for us. Logic. It tells a million lies over and this time the subtly is not so apparent. It is seductive in its devastatingly rational and reasonable approach. The introduction of the next biggest lie is building momentum. This force is beyond any and all intellectual comprehension. It is its very own masterpiece. This lie we will hear every moment of every day. This lie not only originates in our own minds but will flow effortlessly from the mouths of our society. This lie deceivingly carries the essence of truth. This lie does not wear the obvious cloak of fear. It is seemingly sensible and sweetly promises to forever care for our welfare.
What a spirit killer this three letter word is. Take a moment and breathe into the essence of this word. Let it consume your being. Notice any sensations, thoughts, or feelings it brings. How many times has it stopped our hearts from singing? How many times have we tempered the calling of our souls? How many times have we bailed on that great idea? How many times have we walked away from dreams, people, possibilities, adventure, and plain old fun?
What if we abandoned the logic of the “HOW”? What if we just did everything our hearts wanted us to? What if we took a step back and put a little faith into this thing we call life? What if we just trusted in the universe to provide everything we will ever need to fulfill our dreams? What if we just believed we were loved and supported? What then? Is there a possibility the puzzle would come together? Is there a possibility we would experience a lasting sense of wholeness and connection? What if we told logic, the world’s logic, thank you but NO thank you-today I will allow my heart to drive. Today the universe will take the burden of the “HOW”.
Today when my hearts sings and it WILL, I WILL listen:)
The soul is patiently awaiting the moment we come to realize it has never been confused.
This place! This place is beyond words, beyond emotion and feeling. It is …
It is God’s.
The majority of my time here on planet earth has been an experience with the mind, “ego” to make this easier.
With every breath the ego desperately grasped to understand what the spirit was experiencing. Every moment of every day was spent compartmentalizing, evaluating, and labeling. Ego created a story for every experience.
I became convinced these “stories” defined my very being. The ego viciously fed on every ounce of the spirit’s imagination and creativity. It used these gifts to weave an intricate web of shame, guilt, fear, remorse, anger, and suffering. The web was not enough. It preyed day and night until I was convinced the reality of the human experience was pain and separation. Discomfort and doubt were the “normal” operating program. Endurance, accompanied by the guarding of my heart, were the theme.
A battle had begun. Ego to Spirit.
Without my consent … Spirit took the lead. Ego did not go down without a fight! There were moments completely free of a “story”. I was left baffled and confused. Everything I had ever known was being challenged. Then. It happened.
I fell asleep in the middle of the afternoon and was gifted with a dream. An answer. A new set of guidelines. I faintly recollect meeting God. Two simple instructions were given. Stop looking you already found it. Stop talking and start listening.
Upon awakening I felt completely different. The ego attempted to convince me I was crazy. It did not work. It was as if something in the very core of my being had been rearranged. I knew.
I knew the stories clouded the ability to listen. I also knew the stories would always lead me on a desperate search to attach and create new ones. It was clear the “story” was the creator of pain, separation, and the mastermind behind the illusion of limitation.
Ever since that day the stories have fallen. They are not who I am, where I came from, or who I will be. They hold no value in spirit.
For being is the absence of story. It is the heart of experience with the spirit.
We truly are UNlimited!